People of the world listen to me speak!
I have indeed returned. I apologize my dear friends for my leave of absence, for the world is a troubled place, and I being a mere man, found myself in troubles. Yet I have overcome my life's hardships, and have upturned my face towards the radiance of the rising sun.
So without ado, let us continue our voyage through the nether-bowls of dining in Tel Aviv.
Today I dined at a Restaurant known as "River", one of these "asian-fusion" places that fry a bunch of chicken and shit in a pan, throw in some god damn MSG, and fuck me in the ass if what comes out isn't one heaping pile of tasty ass food. It's like someone took a greasy dump right on your plate, and you eat that shit right the fuck up.
I always felt that MSG is like the cheat-code for cooking food, its a bit like cheating, but hell, it takes good--Although I do usually regret it later down the line, either from a migraine or, what I like to refer to as, an anal apocalypse.
Be that as it may, the food was tasty, and the price was more than reasonable at 35 shekels. It is located at the intersection of Rothschild and Herzel.
The food to cost ratio receives a solid A from me! THUMBS UP!
The seating however, seems to have been designed by someone who is the results of close inbreeding, who surely should not be designing restaurants let alone wiping his or her own ass.
I wish I had a picture; trying to get out of our seats was like trying to be the first to enter K-mart during its black-Friday sale, the only difference is that instead of getting a new laptop for 99 dollars I got a molested and trampled by a stampede of crazed middle aged woman. (Actually, the two might be more similar than I think....)Anyway, the seating is a fucking disaster. The food is good and cheap. The overall results? You decide.
Fuck you that's my job, I give it a 4/5.
