Thursday is yet upon us!

Hello dear friends and followers... it is with happiness to say thank G-d it's Thursday (TGIT ;)

Unfortunately we did not choose where we were going to eat before we left for lunch which left us wasting valuable lunch time and well wondering the streets extremely hot Tel Aviv. Nevertheless the others wanted Hamburgers and well I am the VeggieBandit and yes a vegetarian.

There is this excellent Vegan place called Buddah Burger, I had been there once before and it was great although my only complaint was that it took 30 min to get a burrito to go! I gave it a go again and got a veggie all vegan Shwarma... yes you read that correctly a VEGAN Shwarma....mmmmmmmmmmmm. I even gave  the boys to try and they thought it was tasty and in fact want to go there with me once.

This time it didn't take long to prepare and the taste was unbelievable. the price was 28 shekels which is great for an all vegan meal.

The ambiance at the restaurant is very so-cal which is great because it reminds me of home. My only complaint is that the workers always look filthy... I dunno maybe it goes with the whole vegan thing.

Regardless I couldnt be happier with the taste of the food.

I give the food a 5 out of 5 falafels
Service is a 2 out of 5

Hits:

• Delicious food

• Very cool Ambiance

• Many choices

Misses:

• Service could be better

I really recommend Buddah Burger for meat and veggie eaters alike ... the seitan/tofu tastes excellent and everything is very healthy and satisfying. I mean take a look at that decadent burrito :).... YUM!

<3 the one and only,
VeggieBandit

Thursday, lets celebrate

It's Thursday, (Turdsday) and that means its time to enjoy life.

The destination today was Wolfnights, a nice little burger joint with a decent lunch deal.

48 sheks = Burger, fries, coke. What else does one need?

The burger was nice and juicy like the cock of the black gentleman that crafted it, also black people have been historically marginalized and under-considered, and if they have any bad reputation at all it is because of this, and white people simply do not understand the context of their culture. My colleague's fries incidentally tasted better (story of my life) but overall mine were decent as well.

Nice seating arrangements, friendly staff, good friends, good people - Foodpals Ltd, where pals come to food.

I am always complaining about my weight, and as the days roll

past I am surely putting on the LBS, and in full force. As my dear friend Veggiebandit says, we are on the obese diet, and I surely cannot disagree.

But, what can you say? Life is a short-- its a beautiful place as long as you don't live in Africa, and hey, we're the lucky ones right? SO EAT A FUCKING BURGER !!!!!!

Meanwhile, I'm afraid I'll need some new oufits:

OOOOWWWWLLLLLL

Today we all decided to get burgers for lunch. Easy some may say, not today, we stumbled around the hot and humid streets of tel aviv for some time before finding a place. The original plan was to visit Burgerim on hertzel, however they did not accept our preferential form of payment sexual favors performed by veggiebandit or 10bis lunchcard.

Instead we set the compass toward Wolfnights on lillenblum, it was very fitting since we are 3 one man wolfpacks.

I choose a lunch special which includes a beef burger, soft drink and fries for 48 shekels. As soon as i ordered I got a soda to enjoy while waiting for my food, it took approximately 5 min for the burger to arrive. The burger was basic nothing fancy, just a good old fashion burger. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the food. Our last burger adventure was a big failure with hostile interaction with the staff followed by weird stuff showing up in the food. This was more of a success meal was tasty and well worth the price.

Hits

Decently priced

Tasty

Fast

Misess

No whole wheat option for the bun

A bit to greasy

Wolfnights get 3/5 falafels out of 5

The streets!

I love the little coffee shop the streets. It is located in the heart of Tel Aviv on Basel square with a lovely view of the surroundings, the price is not cheap but it is not really expensive either, the service is impeccable. This is a place that always delivers. Most cafes have the same menu with the same food and it all tastes the same, the streets stand out like a candle in the dark. Their menu is simple but still exquisite in taste, they supply a nice and friendly service, it is not unusual that one of the personal to come and chat with you to make sure you are satisfied and happy. I do not even live close to this place and still I go out of my way to eat here, the streets is to me what mecca is to the muslims, I make a pilgrimage there to enjoy some tasty food.

Yesterday I decided to go for the Caesar salad wich set me back 38 shekels with an extra 10 for the chicken. This is a Caesar that lives up to its name, Caesar the great emperor himself would enjoy chewing down this dish. Living in Tel Aviv in the middle east, finding a decent Caesar salad ca be hard. One time they brought me lettuce with a mustard dressing and said it was a Caesar. No! To qualify as a Caesar you need Caesar dressing that is the key, not to much and not to little.

It was perfectly prepared with the right amount of dressing, perfect amount of croutons and chicken that was perfectly cooked with a appropriate amount of cheese sprinkled on top. This lovely salad was so good it made me forget the poor meal I had previously had.

I highly recommend anyone to go there

I give The Caesar 4 out 5 falafels
And the service get 5 out 5 falafels

Hits

Tasty food

Good Menu

Friendly Service

Nice Location

Food comes quickly

Misess

A bit expensive

My favorite waitresses was not on duty

Lunch at Alora

Today, a day of glories because tomorrow my friends is the weekend... so we decided to take it up a notch and venture to some fine Italian cuisine, called Alora (in Tel Aviv on Rothchild).

You should already be aware that I came into this Lunch with a bit of anger from my last visit to Alora. The Stupid waitress got my meal wrong and instead of giving me whole wheat pasta (which I ordered) she gave me regular... and yes I asked 3 times to make sure she understood and at all three times she exlplained she understood. then when she brought out the regular pasta, I of course explained that I ordered whole wheat (chita Malaya, in Hebrew) she tried to explain that they were out, but that bitch simply got my order wrong. Don't get my order wrong and then lie that your out.... if you do not understand your customer.. ASK!

So this time they had a lot to prove.... I ordered from the business meal which like my colleagues have already explained is bullshit because you only get juice or what I like to call tap juice which is tap water from the sink... you pay something like 58 shekels and they cannot give you a coffee or soda with your meal... you have to pay 8 shekels more!!!!!!!!!!! WTF.

I don't like juice very much so i got lemonade. For my starter I got Antipasti and it was just ok, it is much better across the street at Landwert ( a coffee shop ) and for my meal I got the Rocket Salad which already sounds unappetizing, who names a salad ROCKET?!?!?!.

Anyway the salad was pretty good although nothing much to it and definitly not worth the price.

The waitress was nice so this review does not reflect her although the previous waitress that we had was a fucking bitch who got my order wrong and then lied to me when she got it wrong.

Anyway I will have to give them a review of 2 falafels out of 5 -- on food and for service they deserve 4 out of 5 falafels.

From the one and only,
VEGGIEBANDIT
VeggieBandit

Wednesday 28th of July.

Today we ventured to Allora, fine Italian dining.

Place is hella small and to get good seating you need to arrive in a appropriate time or call ahead and book a table.

Since this was a lunch I decided to go for a business meal, which is basically main course, starter and soft drink for the price of the main course. Alloras business lunch is a bit misleading, by soft drink they mean tap water, OJ or lemonade, if you want a soda or any other beverage it is extra.

For a starter I decided to go for a antipasti. The antipasti was ok, nothing special, whenever you have antipasti in a Italian restaurant you tend to expect more then from a local cafe. Antipasti is a Italian dish and should be at its peak in a Italian dining establishment, it was not, it was small and the flavor was rather plain. It barley tickled my belly, like I am a big guy and not some tiny midget. By now it was time for main course I decided to have Chicken scallop, chicken breast in a cream sauce with sweet potato. I had it before and this is tasty shit. When the food came I_Masturbate_With_Mayo's dish was overflowing with sauce and mine barely had any sauce on it. I asked about it and they said that all the sauce was in the chicken, same bullshit answer as last time. I ask for some more sauce and after a few minutes received another batch of sauce. Without the extra sauce it sucked with the extra sauce it was tasty.

As for going back to Allora it might be a while. The waitress was really sweet and helpful and made this luncheon quite nice. It is not he fault the chef is a crack smoking blind man that can not put the same amount of sauce on two exactly the same size dishes.

I would give this Lunch 2 out of 5 falafels.

Hits

Good service

Nice outdoor seating

Misess

Small starters

Misleading business menu

Does not deliver

However I was really happy to be dining with my fellows, two of the finest specimen that life has to offer. Good company can make the most spartan meal taste good. Foodpals makes food better!

Alora July 28, 2010

Well friends here we are again, it's Wednesday, and we decided to go for a little flair. Alora usually boasts a fairly high reputation, it is known for being above average in price but competent in quality.

Well, let's see if reality matches reputation.

First of all, this place is located on central Rotschild and is a quaint little Italian restaurant. The outdoor seating is a nice little patio, which I found to be comfortable and shady. At first look the business lunch appears to be expensive (58 shekels), but it comes with a starter and a drink. So lets dissect this little bargain and see if it's actually worth the sheks.

I went with the chicken escallop, with a Caesar salad to start and an orange juice.

First, the salad was huge in proportion and almost entirely filled me up IF I WAS A MOUSE. Unfortunately, I am a human, with emotions, and not only was this salad small and consumed in approximately 2 1/2 bites, but it was also emotionally upsetting, and I had to continue on with the meal in great sadness. Seriously, even if I was mouse, I could still probably finish this salad.

Of course it is possible that my critique of the salad is too harsh, for my dear associate Chris did help himself generously to it while my back was turned, and though it almost lead to altercation and violence, I am happy to admit that I have let this incident go. At any rate, the salad was lack luster at best.

Next I would like to address the "beverage". The meal is advertised as coming with a beverage, but this includes only "fresh" squeezed orange juice, lemonade and grape fruit juice. Those these are wonderful options, and I did enjoy my juice (even though I suspect they added sugar to it), to substitute for a soft drink, coffee, or anything else it costs an additional EIGHT shekels. I like the option, but I don't like it being the only option, and to be honest I felt a little extorted at this point.

Ok, now onto the main dish: creamy chicken escallop. Sounds good, right? Well, it is. Kinda. It's ok.

I remember the cream sauce having a more robust flavor, but this time it tasted a bit dull and I was forced to even salt it a bit. The dish came with three thin chicken fillets, topped over roasted sweet potato and looks as if a someone took a creamy ass dump all over the plate. The sweet potato was a bit under cooked and, what can I say, it was a bit bland I suppose. Over all, this shit is played out yo.

Let me also say that we had a very nice and accommodating waitress, and this review is by no means a critique of her service.

So, in closing, Alora is over priced and under served.

3 falafel out of 5.

Until next time folks, this is I_masturbate_with_mayo signing out.

One things for sure, I'll be doing a bit of walking to burn off this meal:

we are at allora

Getting some tasty italian food, stay tuned for review:)

The Shwarm

The shwarm is coming, take cover. That's right, mechanically separated beef, lamb, chicken, and...who knows what else!!!!!!! My anus will enjoy passing this, as much as my mouth enjoyed ingesting it. In fact, I may taste my poop tonight, just to enjoy my past experience.

But in all seriousness, this place is called "Dornim" I believe, and is located somewhere between Alenby and Herzl in Central Tel Aviv. Generally the Shwarma meat itself was somewhat lackluster, it could have been more succulent, however, the laffa was nice and tender, and the spicy sauce was exquisite.

The price was average to above average, ringing in at a total of 29 shekels. Overall, I believe there are better destinations for Shwarm in the Central Tel Aviv area.

I give it three and a half Shwarma out of 5.

And at the end of the day, I will certainly be making one of these:

Lunch At Work Cont'd

LUNCH AT WORK is all about where you eat who you eat with. Today we chose a fine dining establishment called Benedict's. This place is an all American experience and 'THE PLACE' to go for any type of American style breakfast. Although me and Chris decided to veer off the beaten path because we both chose something quit traditional. I chose the Greek Breakfast and Chris chose the Israeli breakfast (pictures to be posted). What an experience it was, they definitely get an excellent review from me. They continually filled our bread and never left us needing anything,TWO THUMBS UP.

Todays lunch took us too Benedict's, this is as close to an all American dinner you will ever come when in the middle east. They offer a few rare and exquisite flavors that can tease the taste buds, on their menu you can find pancake, bacon and hash-browns.

Obviously their specialty is eggs Benedict, eggs Benedict are not named after the traitor Benedict Arnold, they recived their name from Lemuel Benedict. Lemuel Benedict was a retired Wall street broker, who stepped in to the famous Waldorf Hotel looking for some good hang over food. He ordered toast, poached eggs, bacon and hollandaise sauce, and right then and there the perfect hang over food was brought to life. In the same fashion as Moses made water come from a rock or Jesus turned water to wine, Lemuel manifested hang over food.

Today I did not eat eggs Benedict, since there were to many things to choose from I decided to go for something basic. I ordered a Israeli breakfast(eggs, salad and bread with 2 drinks) with a side of bacon. I did not expect any miracles and neither did I receive any, however the meal was very satisfactory. The bacon was perfect crispy and chewy, this is rare in this part of the world, cause in most places they tend to either burn it or not cook it enough. I remember once I enjoyed a bacon cheeseburger and the bacon was so wet and sloppy it felt as though it been dipped in boiling water or a sore of a leper. The positive surprise of today's dining was then the friendly service we enjoyed, there were a constant flow of fresh bread and we were never short on butter and nutella.

I do however feel that the meal was not worth the price, Breakfast 52nis, cheese in the eggs 3 nis and a side of bacon 15 nis. That is a total of 70 shekels or $18 for breakfast.

If you are out and about being stupid drunk or do you have a longing for USA style cuisine Benedict is good choice.

LUNCH AT WORK

Some may think of this as an enjoyable experience (which it is)... and others might dread the experience. Lunch at work kind of reminds me of high school, there are cliques and groups, those who always invite you and those who would never think of it. There are those who do take out, those who eat in a group (in the meeting room) and then there comes me... I love eating outside and I love trying new things.
The culinary options are endless from shwarma (which is basically the Israeli hamburger) to gourmet pastas and meats.

From the time that we arrive at 9am to 12:30pm, we are constantly messaging each other, "what do you want to eat". Today the establishment has not yet been decided... Although our experience is yet to come.