Sunday, August 1, 2010

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Today friends I am going to take a different approach to the blog here. I will not speak today about food, which is the custom amongst us here at Foodpals (Inc), but to talk about the other aspect of Food.

Think about this for one minute before I presume. Yes, the other aspect of food. What happens to food after a couple of hours. What happens to food once it travels from your stomach into your intestine. What happens to food as it squeezes its way all the way through your small intestine and finally obtains more comfortable circumstances in the large and roomy intestine. Think about what happens to food as it is eaten by bacteria that let of putrid and offensive odors, and think about food as it makes its final journey out of the rectum and into it's final resting place.

So, do you have a guess? Were my examples too subtle?

Well, at any rate, I am talking about SHIT.

You may have asked yourself why the title of this blog post is called "Sunday Bloody Sunday", and it is no great mystery, for all shall be revealed:

This weekend I enjoyed myself immensely, I ate plenty of cheese, meats, candies, chocolate, french fries, shwarma, and actually, I tasted my own poop too, out of tradition for both the ritual of eating one's own shit, and also out of tradition and loyalty to the food I ate and the sacred bond we
once shared.

Well, today I was pooping, and naturally yes it was extremely messy (as usual) and after about 20 minutes of vigorously wiping, I spotted dark red spots on the toilet paper. Yes, my asshole was bleeding. I didn't panic though, because after all, this isn't the first time this has happened.

I went to the doctor and he said, "Hey, c'mon, a little bloody asshole, what can you do?" Easy to say when you live off of fish and rice, you don't get bloody asshole like me. Oh well!! Like doc said, what can you do!?

It's just another Bloody Sunday for me!!


A great week to everyone reading this, and remember, one in the shoe is better than three in the popper!!

Catchya latehz

-Masturbates with Mayo

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